How To Ask A Girl Out Over Text Successfully - A Guide


Many guys stumble when it comes to figuring out how to ask a girl out over text.

While in reality, it’s a simple task, the execution has to be just right.

Girls are fickle by nature, so it’s necessary to take the right approach when asking a woman out–especially over text message.

Whether you initially got her number from meeting her at a bar or from your latest online dating match from the hookup apps that are proven to work.

It’s crucial that you know how to ask a girl out over text correctly.

Otherwise, all of your initial efforts in getting her interested in you may go to waste.

There’s nothing more upsetting than losing the intrigue of an attractive woman.

How to Ask a Girl Out Over Text

Learn how to ask a girl out over text to get this reactionYou’re given the right moment to ask her out, and if you don’t seize it, the opportunity may not present itself again.

Let’s discuss how you can get it right the first time.

Not only will you get her out on an exciting first date, but you’ll also have her nervous to see you

How to Ask a Girl Out Over Text – The Basics

Firstly, every detail leading up to the moment that you ask her out matters.

You can’t suddenly expect her to be awed by you the moment you deliver a date proposal.

With that in mind, it goes without saying that not only should she be interested in you first; she should also be fascinated by you.

When she finds you beyond alluring, she practically has no choice but to accept when you finally do ask her out.

If you’ve established yourself as a man of value in her eyes, she will see you as a catch that she cannot miss out on.

If she’s willing to figuratively move mountains to see you, getting her out will be easy.

So, how do you captivate her before inviting her out on a first date? Contrary to what you may believe, there are many ways to attract a gorgeous and mature woman.

And since all women are different despite sharing certain similarities, there isn’t a single approach that is superior to the rest.

With that said, we can narrow it down to a shortlist of features you can capitalize on to get her interested in you:

  • Mystery
  • Confidence
  • Unique personality
  • Physical appearance
  • Good sense of humor
  • Amusing, down-to-earth vibe

If you look at this list and have trouble identifying any that represent you don't worry!

You shouldn’t worry obsessively about portraying these things to her.

But you should keep them in mind as you work on your dating profile and throughout your conversations.

For instance, by avoiding direct answers to her questions you will invoke a dash of mystery.

By having a professionally taken picture showing you having a good time in a social environment, you will show her your personality and vibe in a positive light.

You need to try this

Bonus points to physical appearance if it’s the picture you look best in.

Essentially, with the basics the point is to have her interested in you before you ask her out on a date.

When you do, she will be more apt to say yes. Don’t be afraid to flirt and show her that you’re not too serious.

Definitely tease her whenever you can.

Besides increasing her interest for you, the more you practice flirting and teasing the better you’ll get.

This translates to greater confidence–whether you consciously recognize it or not.

You already know how much confidence is important to women.

So don’t hesitate to work on it whenever you can.

Asking Her Out

You’re probably still wondering about how to ask a girl out over text.

Now that we’ve covered the basics, we can finally move on to what’s truly important.

After all, all relationships start with one crucial thing aside from chemistry–the first date.

On the topic of chemistry, if you’ve succeeded in capturing her interest then she will be looking forward to finally meeting you in person.

She will be wondering if you’re the man she’s played up in her mind.

(Don’t be fazed by this, women naturally do this.)

She will ponder over the chances that you will be the good match she’s been waiting for.

All that’s left for you to do now is ask her out.

Similar to getting her invested in you past the first hello, there are many ways in which you could approach the question.

There is no single best way to ask the girl you fancy out on a date.

With that said, there are certainly wrong ways to ask her out, but we will get to that shortly.

First, let’s consider what you should be thinking about before you take her out anywhere.

How is her vibe?

It’s fundamentally important when learning how to ask a girl out over text to be able to pick up on her vibe, even if you’re limited to text message exchanges.

The last thing you want is to meet up with a girl who wastes your time or has some ulterior motive.

While this is relatively rare, it is a possibility.

Of course you like beautiful women. Who doesn’t?

But you must feel her out, before you ask her out.

Is she a good conversationalist?

If she’s asking you plenty of questions and giving you equal amounts of feedback, you’ll know that she’s a good talker.

Is she shy?

While shyness is not a problem, be ready to lead the conversation most of the time if she’s timid.

It’s actually a good idea to ask her if she considers herself shy, and why.

If she asks you the same question in return, tell her that you don’t consider yourself shy or outgoing. 

Rather, tell her you’re a mix of both.

Say that sometimes you like to go out and have fun with a group of friends on a night out, whereas other times you’d rather stay in and read a good book along with a glass of wine.

This is a great thing to tell any girl, because most women have both an introverted and an extroverted side.

Showing her that you’re both will allow her to connect with you by similarity.

Figure out her vibe as best you can beforehand, while building more comfort with her at the same time.

What is her schedule like?

There’s no date without mutually agreeing on a time.

A often overlooked aspect of learning how to ask a girl out over text is that you must figure out her schedule before asking her out.

Not entirely of course, but you should have a good idea.

Asking her about her schedule will also give a hint to how receptive she will be to going out with you.

Ask her how busy she is on weekdays. Is she swamped with work on the weekends?

Tell her that you feel there’s nothing better than relaxing at a coffee shop on a Sunday afternoon catching up with the latest news.

You could follow up by asking her if she’s usually free on Sundays.

Ask her, “How about we meet this Sunday at [coffee shop] and get to know each other in person a little bit?”

It’s evidently a natural extension of your conversation that asks little of her, while giving her an opportunity to meet someone truly worthwhile.

Consider her concerns

Don’t forget to consider her concerns before asking her out.

Naturally, she will probably have had some bad dates in the past.

The same may be true for you.

It’s important to be socially aware and address anything that might upset her before you ask her out.

For instance, too many guys may attempt to rush things.

While drinks at a bar followed by a visit to your home afterwards may work sometimes, it’s definitely not the norm.

You have to feel her out.

If she seems hesitant for a night date, it may be better to take it easy with an afternoon coffee date instead.

Visiting a market or going to the park by the lake together is never a bad option for a first date.

While you’re likely not going to give her a bad experience, you have to consider that she might be extra cautious with you if she’s been unfortunate in the past.

With that said, if she hints at being free on a weeknight, there’s absolutely no harm in asking her out for a drink or two.

Don’t go into it with any expectations, and have yourselves a good time.

Now that you’re familiar with the essentials, we can finally discuss the different ways that you can ask her out on a date.

Remember that in reality it’s a very simple task.

Never overthink it, because it could hurt your delivery.

On the other hand, you still have to ask her out properly.

As long as you’re calm about it and approach the topic in a casual way, you’ll be just fine.

Specific examples of how to ask a girl out over text

Do any search online on how to ask a girl out over text and you’re going to come across various different opinions.

Some people might give you good advice, whereas others will not, despite their best intentions.

Remember that there’s no single best way to approach the topic.

The more you practice, the better sense you’ll have overtime for which approach is most appropriate, depending on your ideas and the girl you’re talking to.

Feel free to use our examples, but don’t be afraid to get creative and create your own approach as well.

Without further ado, let’s go over some examples as to how you can ask her out effectively.

The Casual Approach

Let’s get started with the casual approach.

It’s low-risk and it’s friendly. Most importantly, it’s laid-back.

It’s a great way to feel her out for a date without a hint of desperation on your part.

First, say:

“Are you free on Tuesday or Wednesday evening?” (Feel free to change the days.)

When she asks why or says yes, follow it up with:

“Why don’t we hang out for a bit? I should have some free time.”

Assuming you have the basics down, she will probably say yes.

Suggest a time, and follow through.

If she says no to the initial question, don’t fret.

But do expect her to suggest an alternate time that works for her.

The Planned Approach

With this next approach you will suggest plans from the onset, without being overbearing.

“How about we meet later this week for [x event]?”

Experiment with different plans and ideas.

Above all, you should choose something that you feel comfortable with.

If you’re comfortable, she will be too.

“How about we meet later this week for a quick drink?” works great.

The Exciting Approach

Here you have an opportunity to approach her with something out of the ordinary, which works great if it compliments the personality you’ve presented to her.

First, start with:

“I have an interesting idea about what we could do later this week..”

The more excited her reply to this is, the better the follow up will be:

“Let’s get to know each other over some [caffeine/alcohol] and figure out how much we compliment each other in person.”

This is a unique way of asking her out that shows her you have a good sense of humor and don’t take things too seriously.

Don’t be shy–give it a try!

The Invitation Approach

This last approach is compelling because it has her assume that you already have plans set, and that she’s just being invited along for the ride.

“On [x day] I’m going to [x event]. Why don’t you join me?

This is the perfect way to ask her out if you’d like to take her to a market, art show, public concert, or any other local event.

It’s hard to go wrong when you’re inviting her to do something exciting that you intend on doing with or without her.

While we’ve covered the essentials, it’s important for us to leave you with a few pointers regarding what you should avoid.

As long as you refrain from doing the following, you’ll be on the right track:

  • Inviting her to your place too soon
  • Insisting on anything she’s not comfortable with
  • Trying to make plans for the same day; 1-3 days before is ideal
  • Going on a dinner or movie date on a first date (you could always do that later)

While there are other mistakes, these are the main ones to avoid. Lastly, it will do you wonders to keep your first date “short and sweet.”

In addition, asking her out on a long first date is certainly a mistake to avoid as well. 1-2 hours is more than enough.

If you play your cards right, you’ll leave a powerful first impression, and she’ll be the one asking you out for date number two.


Don’t overthink the process of asking out a woman on a date.

It’s incredibly easy to do, especially when it’s over text.

With that said, never forget the basics–stick to them and you’re guaranteed to succeed.

Get her interested in you, plan your approach, and ask her out already. Chances are it’s what she’s been waiting for.

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  • Cornelius

    Thanks man,that was very helpful

  • ky

    I like any girls

  • social media marketing.

    Nice article. Thanks ffor the read.amazing

  • Anonymous

    The girl I like is really nice but we have never met. She lives a few countries away and we are planning to meet sometime in another country. I don't know if she likes me. She was sad when I said I wasn't going to a certain event and I really wish I was there. I want to ask her out before anyone else does. Maybe not out to a location bit since we are meeting sometime, how can I ask her to be my girlfriend over text in this situation please?

  • Achor, S

    they is dis girl a really like. she ask me out before i do and now, she stop calling me. so i asked her what happen? so she say she don't want to break my heart. she is the first born of the family and nothing is working. she need money to get one or two things done. so she say she is not ready for any relationship now. that if i will wait,, she now ask me that am my financially ready.
    And i am not that financially buoyant even living what my parent
    What should i do please?

  • Andrew

    Before you know it nothing works right, she says your an embarrassment, things get very quiet and your on to the next text So maybe your desperate enough this time to really satisfy her in person

  • Yoshiko Flora

    I'm helping my son invite his crush to watch a movie for him over winter break. I never knew that he should aim to send texts that make the girl feel mystery and confidence. Aside from the texts, he has not found a movie to watch with her yet. Any tips?

  • Lissa

    Authenticity is the most important.
    Using lines and scripts will backfire.
    Be yourself.
    If she isn't interested then let go and move on.
    Mystery isn't the key, it is pacing.
    Telling her everything on your mind may be too much info.
    If confidence is lacking then try and think about what you do well.
    From the smallest to the grandest.
    Bluster and bloviating will easily be seen through.
    Take a deep breath and pause. Do something with her that is a new experience for you both

  • Anonymous

    Thanks for showing me how bad I've blown it. cest la vie

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