A lot of men fall for an older woman and end up screwing it up because they’re too needy and insecure and it ends up driving her away. We’re going to talk about how you can attract an older woman again even after making this mistake.
Here’s the thing about being needy: We’ve all been there at some point or another. What matters is what we do about it from the moment we notice. You could double down on what you were doing but that’s never going to end well.
So let's talk about what "needy" looks like in the dating world, why it happens and how you can best handle it. If you’re dealing with this problem right now, sit tight, there’s still a chance you can fix it. Now let’s dive in!
In its simplest form, being needy is really just being “too much.” Too many texts, too many compliments, too many gifts, too much affection, needing too much of her time. . . you get the picture.
Look back on how you’ve been acting in recent weeks and try to be objective for a moment. Have you been seeking approval from her? Fishing for compliments or generally desperate for her attention?
If you’ve been doing these things or generally making her your number one priority, that’s a bit much. Older women may like younger men, but neediness is next to intolerable for them. So if you've been making her the center of your world, I’m sorry to say, you’ve probably been coming across as needy.
If nobody enjoys being around someone so needy, where does it even come from? Why is it such a common trait?
Firstly, it has a lot to do with the fact that it’s so hard to be self-aware. Most of the time, it’s motivated by the fact that we care a lot about someone and we’re being authentic. We want to spend time with them, we want their attention and affection and don’t mind showing it. We want to seduce older women by showering them with compliments, gifts, effort, time and whatnot.
That, combined with what Hollywood tells us is “romantic” leads us to being a little too much.
A very common scenario is that you start falling for her and fear that it's one-sided. You might not even notice that you start to pull her closer. Good morning texts, constant invitations and demands for her attention. As though pulling her closer will make sure she feels the same about you.
All this to say, it’s very normal but something to work on regardless. Nobody enjoys being around needy people.
Here’s the thing: before you start dating someone, it’s best to nip your bad dating habits in the bud. In our online video course for dating mature women, we go through all the many things you should avoid doing to attract and date single older women. Give it a try and you'll have more success with women!
Coming across as needy can be kind of frustrating for both you and her. You’re frustrated because you feel as though you’re doing all the right things. She’s frustrated because she feels smothered and needs time to herself.
A big part of the problem here is that “needy” is the opposite of confidence and confidence is sexy. You’re coming across as the opposite of sexy.
Women want a guy who’s comfortable with himself. He has his own social life and doesn’t need to be with anyone to feel happy.
Instead, the neediness shows that you’re desperate for her attention in particular and you’re willing to drop everything for her.
Instead of all these needy steps and demands for attention, what you should have been doing is the opposite. You should have been living your own life, spending time with your friends and sometimes including her. This is one of the reasons older women date younger men these days: because lots of younger men have other stuff going on in their lives.
Rather than texting all day every day, just keep it to texting when you want to meet up or have something interesting to say. No more “good morning” texts, it’s too much right now.
You want to let things develop naturally rather than forcing it. Women like younger men because it's fun, not because they're in need of constant attention. Sometimes it won’t work out and you need to be okay with that too. Unfortunately, if she was never really into it, there’s nothing you can do to change that.
Now for the most important part, what are you going to do from this point? You’re going to give her the space she needs. No questions or technicalities here, you’re going to give her space.
Give it a solid two weeks without texting, calling or inviting her anywhere, directly or otherwise.
You’re going to use that time to focus on yourself. Go to the gym, focus on your diet, pick up a new hobby, spend time with friends. . . The aim is to stay busy and better yourself without her being in the picture.
If you’d normally post your adventures on social media, do it. If not, don’t. You’re not playing games with her, just giving her some space and staying busy. You’re demonstrating that you are your own person with your own active, interesting social life.
During this time, you also need to come to terms with the fact that you may not be able to turn it around. No matter what happens, when you can come to this conclusion, you’re going to act so much more confident. Believe it or not, being okay with things not working out will improve your chances of fixing this.
Once you’ve taken this couple of weeks to work on yourself, it’s time to text her again. Rather than asking for one on one time, invite her to something interesting that you’re already doing with your friends. Build up some rapport again by chatting with her or teasing her to flirt with her.
This is a great way to ease back into spending time together while also demonstrating that you don’t need her attention anymore. . . but you’d like it. That even if she doesn’t go, that’s fine because you’ll be having a great time.
That wasn’t so complicated, was it? When you understand where the neediness came from, it’s easy to see that a bit of space and a change of priorities is all it takes.
Forget about all the games and so-called “perfect texts” you’ll hear about from pickup artists. Attracting an older woman after being needy is a simple matter of recognizing a problem and fixing it. Remember, this doesn’t have to be the end of things, it could be just the beginning of something much better.
Have you ever been needy? What happened and were you able to turn it around? Share your experiences with us in the comments below!