When it comes to picking up on hints from the opposite sex, some guys can be totally clueless. If this sounds like you, don’t be too hard on yourself––you’re obviously not a mind reader. That being said, identifying the clues that allude to attraction is a lot simpler than you may think.
Do you want to date a cougar or maybe just hook up with one? If so, you might be wondering about the signs that older single women are interested in you. These are signals that are easy to miss but important to look out for. If you spent any time in our favorite spots to meet single older women you've likely had a few sent your way.
For the most part, you’ll need to be aware of various signals she may send your way. This might involve direct flirtation, specific conversation topics or other subtleties, some of which are harder to decipher than others.
Does this woman like you back? Is she just being nice? Is she even interested in dating a younger man? If you’ve got your sights set on an older woman, these questions may drive you crazy. The good news is that once you know what to look out for, you’ll be able to recognize the signs.
Signs That Older Single Women Are Interested
With younger women, you might have a better sense of the clues. If she texts you constantly or likes all your Instagram photos, you can safely assume she’s at least somewhat interested. Older women, on the other hand, are in a different ballpark.
New to dating cougars? You might be comforted to learn that it’s not uncommon for older women to date younger guys. So common that Miriam-Webster's secondary definition of "cougar" is “a middle-aged woman seeking a romantic relationship with a younger man.”
Research has shown that for some women, sexual satisfaction intensifies with age. Some older and middle-aged women are divorcees seeking sexual adventure. Others are looking to spend time with young men to revisit an old thrill-seeking way of life. And some women may wish to have experiences dating younger guys they missed out on in their youth.
In any case, there are several tell-tale signs of a cougar looking for some action. So, what are the signs that older single women are interested? Look out for these 12 common signals.
1. Older single women avoid other young guys and only flirt with you
This is a very common scenario when it comes to older single women seeking the attention of a young male. They may not even realize it, but very often their undivided attention towards you subconsciously diverts attention away from others.
Their investment in your charm and good looks detracts any other men from having a chance. Even if she doesn't notice it, you certainly will.
Look for signs of regular interaction between you two and see where the conversations take you. If she is regularly chatting to you and asking questions about your day-to-day activities, or even more personal affairs? It's a very positive sign that she's interested in you.
This may seem difficult to pinpoint at first, as it varies greatly between person-to-person. Plus, older single women may be more hesitant than their younger counterparts. This is rarely a personal offense against you, but more due to potentially bad past experiences or insecurities.
Location is important here. If you're in the more popular places for cougars to meet guys and shes ignoring everyone else you're all set. If there isn't anyone else around it isn't as big of a deal.
Older single women may also find the overall situation uncomfortable and potentially fear the backlash from their friends or co-workers. Pay attention to those brief periods of interaction in less busy scenarios. Then compare them to how they talk to men similar to your age.
2. She checks out your profile or messages you
As I mentioned above, young women will often spend some time on your social media account if they like you. Some older women present similar behaviors on the online platforms they use.
Online dating is an excellent method for meeting cougars. In the real world, you might not have the slightest idea of what a woman is looking for. However, when you connect with an older woman on a dating site or app? You’re starting with the notion that she wants to meet people for romance or sex.
More older women, especially the more attractive single women, are avoiding the typical spots you meet them and looking online. These are busy women who don't have the time to spend in bars and clubs every week. So if you want to attract an older woman, you need to be online as well!
Usually, dating platforms allow you to fine-tune your search to only include people within your desired age bracket. When you indicate that you're interested women between the ages of 40 and 55, that's who you'll match with. At that point, you’ll know your matches are at least open to dating younger men. They may even be set on dating guys your age.
We've had a lot of success meeting older women online, especially on eHarmony (which you can try for right now here). Every year we rank and review all the best sites to meet older women. eHarmony has been the best for several years. You can see our full review of the top sites HERE.
We have not found an easier way to meet a lot of single older women. And it is very easy for them to show their interest. Any time a woman views your profile or messages, it is time for you to take the initiative. Write them a quick message and start the conversation. You have absolutely nothing to lose!
3. She finds excuses to casually bump into you
This blends in well with the first point, as the two correlate quite well together. While analyzing the periods of conversation between you two, consider how these interactions occur in the first place.
If it's at a place of work, they may simply be chance encounters that happen during their day-to-day work tasks. However, if you begin to notice patterns of when they turn up, then consider that a potential clue.
If these interactions occur outside of the work environment, then take extra consideration in weighing up the possibilities. The advent of social media like Facebook and Twitter has drastically changed the landscape of how people meet and interact. But similar rules and signs of interest still overlap into the digital domain.
Transfer the traditional methods of conversation, including the quality of conversations and how frequently they occur, onto social media. How frequently do they message you? What are the usual topics of conversation? Are you able to tease her and make her laugh? Do they seem invested in your interests and what you have to say? These aspects are worth taking into consideration. They can even be analyzed by how many statuses or photos of yours they "Like" or "Favorite."
As previously mentioned, older single women may be more hesitant to this approach. Their social media presence is open to their accepted friends and family members, so the signs may be less obvious. However, the potential for private chats or direct messages can occur, without them risking their reputation to friends or colleagues.
4. She goes out of her way to talk to you
A cougar may not just make excuses to bump into you. An interested older woman might also go out of her way to talk to you. Most women love to chat, but they usually don’t strike up meaningful conversations with just anyone.
If she’s romantically interested, you might notice she tends to seek out your company in a group of people. Alternatively, she might call, text or message you online out of the blue. When a woman is into you, she’s likely to ask you questions about your life. She also might seek your opinion on subjects that are important to her.
Does this woman talk to you more than other people? Is she attentive when you have conversations? Does she tend to agree with you? Is she flirtatious? These are all signs of interest.
5. She makes sure you know she’s single
Some clues are harder to pick up on, while others are more direct. One obvious sign of interest is when a woman makes sure you know she’s single. It’s not specific to cougars, either. Women of all ages tend to do this––and some men, too!
If a woman offers up information about her status, it’s her way of making sure you’re aware she’s available. Instead of explicitly telling you she’s on the market and interested in you? She might casually mention her ex-husband, ex-boyfriend or the fact that she’s single.
Similarly, a woman might ask you if you have a girlfriend. In that case, it’s a method of confirming that you’re available while also hinting at her interest. However, it’s possible that a woman will ask about your dating life simply out of curiosity. That’s why a declaration of her singledom is a clearer sign.
6. Older single women may seek approval from you
This trait carries over to most older single women who seek the attention of other guys, regardless of age differences. That makes it all the more relevant for younger men to take notice. Since these universal traits of attraction often seem so obvious, they may miss it regardless of how old they are.
Older single women might often quiz younger guys on their preferences. This includes perfume choices, apparel or hairstyle. They'll do this in order to gauge how relevant their tastes are compared to younger generations. Sometimes this will simply be an aspect of curiosity and nothing more. It's common for older women to stay up-to-date with current fashions without any desire for a relationship among younger men.
However, men should take note if the frequency of approval regularly has to come from them. Especially if the older single woman doesn't ask other guys as well. This shows she;'s influenced by the styles and personal traits that you seek, in an attempt to match them.
7. She regularly offers assistance
Older single women who seek younger guys will quite often take a special interest in their needs and problems. An aspect of natural motherly experience may be a result of this behavior. Particularly if their children have graduated from college or moved out of their home. They also might simply have more free time on their hands.
A tell-tale sign of a cougar's interest is if they seek out your problems even without you directly telling them. Referring back to points-of-conversations and how they occur, if they're regularly asking about day-to-day issues or problems and eagerly offering solutions? Their investment may be more than just passing the time.
8. Older single women might outright say it
Older single women who confident and open might even admit in casual conversation that they find younger men attractive. The concept itself is certainly a no-brainer to many. But those expecting older single women to be more conservative about their preferences might be surprised by such a public statement.
Some women are coy when it comes to stating their attraction. And yet, older women tend to be a little more straightforward. If you’re not used to it, you might be taken aback. However, you may grow to appreciate a cougar’s directness.
If there are other hints, an off-hand comment such as this could just be the final clue you need.
Context is important when judging whether this statement should be taken at face-value or not. A jovial conversation between her close friends or work colleagues may simply be a fun topic to fantasize over. She may not actually seriously consider such a commitment.
If they say it directly to you, depending on their personality, they may be openly honest. Or they may try to hide it behind a joke. If they blush or become playfully defensive, then the truth behind that statement could be greater than initially expected.
9. She often seeks to be alone with you
If you're close to an older single woman, a great friendship and bonding experience has probably flourished between you two. Friendships like this benefit from time away from co-workers, friends or other colleagues. Particularly if you already know each other pretty well. If she wants to meet after talking online, especially if it was on one of our Top Cougar Dating Sites? You can assume that she has a legitimate interest in you.
This may be as simple as having lunch together on work breaks (away from other people). She may offer lifts to/from work. Or she may start regular private conversations on social media or find other opportunities to spend time together. The deciding factor between romantic prosperity and long-lasting friendships can be difficult to interpret for younger men.
This depends greatly on the context of each situation and just how invested they are in you as a person. Also consider if there's subtle flirting, seeking approval (and any changes from the resulting responses they receive) and offering assistance. She might be waiting for you to seduce her before being more forward with you.
There may be invitations to their place (or vice versa) for dinner or to hang out. especially if it becomes a regular occurrence. This shows they feel comfortable around you in intimate environments or that they're open to exploring yours. This is especially true if the invites become regular occurrences.
This kind of openness and acceptance can be difficult for older single women. Particularly if they're hesitant about approaching younger guys. So when this scenario does begin to occur? It’s an extremely likely case that they want you to be a part of their life romantically.
10. See how older single women respond to casual comments
Simple conversation starters or comments about current activities/work tasks can provide a great point-of-interest among the opposite sex. Finding out about related topics between one another is a great way to gauge how they respond.
Let's say you're at work and make a comment about a rude customer or inconvenient technical issue. They may respond in-kind with agreeable statements such as "I know exactly what you mean!" Or "I've never thought of it that way." These kinds of detailed responses are encouraging for her. It establishes interaction with you without her necessarily reaching out to you to start a conversation.
Finding relatable topics to discuss are a great starting point for young men to see how older single women respond. If you receive disinterested, lackluster remarks or very brief statements, they may not be interested in you. On the flip-side though, they may be busy with other commitments or work priorities that distract them from engaging.
So it is not always accurate to gauge someone's interest simply based on a few brief conversations. How she reacts over an extended period can be a more accurate show of whether an older woman likes you.
11. They repeat words or phrases you use
Everyone has their own style of conversation or unique comments/phrases that they naturally say. This may be simply making pop-culture references that you share. They may be teasing comments about other people. Or perhaps even "in-jokes" that you've both developed together (a very strong sign that they're interested in you).
This kind of playful conversation may not occur as frequently among older single women. But testing to see whether that kind of interaction can occur is worth figuring out.
If you have shared phrases, notice when she starts to employ your phrases towards you or (even better) other people. This establishes a unique personality trait or aspect that they've accepted into their own vocabulary or body language. Mimicking or imitating other people can be done jokingly or in jest. But often, it can occur through admiration or respect for them, particularly if it flows naturally or becomes commonly used.
Older single women who take influence from your words and actions may be subconsciously asserting their affection for you. These are subtle measures that even other people might not instantly realize. Depending on context, older single women repeating words or phrases by younger men is a good sign they're interested.
12. Nonverbal signs that older single women are interested
When you learn how to read body language and nonverbal cues, you’ll be able to determine mutual interest. People subconsciously adjust their posture and the direction they face when they like the person they’re talking to. Keep in mind, that's true whether it’s romantic or not. Other nonverbal cues include eye contact and smiling.
Some good, old fashioned, tell-tale signs are universal between all older single women, regardless of age boundaries. Look for familiar signs when having conversations with you. These include: playing with their hair, seeking extra attention from you, sitting closely next to you or biting their lip.
Eye contact is one of the most important aspects of conversation between people. It may be obvious to many and is universally recognized as good manners, yet it still needs to be said. How older single women maintain eye contact is one of many first signs if they're interested in you or not. In the context of great conversations, good eye contact certifies interest in the other person. And it commands a high level of investment within them.
While it’s usually a positive sign, eye contact can mean a number of different things. Some people practice good eye contact as a way to come off as more assertive. Also, I don’t recommend looking too deep into a quick glance; it may be coincidental. But a steady gaze can often be translated to sexual attraction, especially when it’s coming from an older woman.
Men who are unsure if an older woman is interested in them should always keep this tip in mind.
Similar to eye contact, a smile can imply a thousand things. In general, smiling is friendly. However, when combined with other signs, it can also be an indicator of romantic interest.
If an older woman smiles at you, go ahead and smile back to see what happens. It might prompt her to come over and talk to you. If you’re already having a conversation, a big smile is a good sign.
Don't Miss These Signs That Older Single Women Are Interested In You
By utilizing these hints, you can understand signals older single women show when expressing interest. Generally, they will be less upfront than their younger counterparts and may come across as more preserved.
Younger men can consider these rules when trying to figure out if an older woman is into you. By letting natural conversations and events occur, the chance of appealing to an older woman becomes more likely.
At this point, you should have a pretty good notion of the signs that older single women are interested. If you’re new to dating cougars, it might be viewed as a good thing. It can be thrilling for older women to connect with younger men, especially those who haven’t been with a cougar. Try to embrace the experience and learn as you go.