In the world of online dating, your profile is your opportunity to make that first impression. First impressions are critical and so is knowing how to write an online dating profile.
In this article, I’m going to give you some very simple tips you can use to improve your dating profile. Whether you’re overhauling an existing one or about to write one for the first time.
It can be an intimidating process filled with uncertainty but by the end of this article, those feelings will be gone.
How to write an online dating profile that works
The first time I sat down to write a dating profile, I drew a complete blank. I was filled with a string of questions that I just didn’t know how to answer. How do I describe myself? What do I say? What kind of women are going to read this? How much should I write? Etc.
This list of questions crippled me and emptied my mind so there I sat. Staring at my blank profile, growing increasingly frustrated. If any of this sounds familiar, you’re in the right place. After all, picking great photos for your dating profile can only get you so far.
But if you’re freaking out at learning how to write a description of yourself for online dating, you likely need a few more pointers. We’ve created a video dating course to teach you how to find, approach and attract women both in person and online.
For now, let’s get into how to write a description of yourself for online dating.
Remember, you’re just telling people a bit about yourself
You aren’t trying to top the New York Times Best Seller list here so you can afford to relax a little. Take a deep breath and think about the profiles you’ve seen on sites like this.
Remember how you weren’t hyper-critical of everything you read? Like your first visit to the gym, it’s normal to feel like everyone is criticizing your every move. Instead, women are going to skim your profile briefly, searching for something that might interest them.
Of course, that means thinking about what type of site you’re on. On the top dating sites for meeting cougars you will need to approach things a little differently than our best hookup apps and sites. So take your audience into account first and foremost.
That’s all you’re doing here. You’re giving her a reason to pause and pay closer attention to you. Not quite so scary when you think of it that way, huh?
Fill out every field
It can be tempting to skip over some fields, thinking they’re useless or simply not wanting to invest the time. This really makes talking to a girl online a lot easier since they have a lot more they can ask YOU about.
The thing is, these fields exist to help you. Dating websites pay attention to what people read so you can safely assume that if there’s a field for certain info, it’s important.
If you think about it from her perspective, she’s flipping through several profiles in rapid succession. Any time she comes across a sparse profile, she’s going to ignore it and move on to the next one.
Likewise, when she sees a profile that’s half-done, she’ll draw a reasonable (and maybe accurate) assumption -- that you’re only half-way committed. If you only invest the effort to complete half a profile, she expects you’ll put that same level of effort into her.
Since women don’t struggle for interested suitors, that’s probably going to result in you being skipped.
The next time you think about tabbing over a field in your profile, remember this! Take the extra few seconds, fill it out and enjoy the increased interaction.
She wants to know a bit about you
Always remember why she’s reading your profile. She wants to learn a bit about who you are as quickly as possible. The better you can convey this, the more effective your profile is going to be.
That doesn’t mean you should provide an exhaustive list of likes and dislikes. Instead, get creative. Find ways to demonstrate the type of person you are rather than just what you like.
Take the first line of my Tinder profile for example:
“Dad jokes, dad bod, loving father to zero children”
In just nine words I’m demonstrating several things without ever saying them.
- I have a sense of humor (specifically, I’m a big fan of cringey dad jokes)
- I have a ‘dad bod’ so I’m not in tremendous shape but I work out (and I’m comfortable with it)
- I don’t have any children. Although admittedly, this statement is more about the humor too
Don’t be afraid of a little trial and error to get the creative approach right. I’ve tinkered with mine over time and I’m happy with the current form but don’t think for a second that I haven’t made mistakes.
See, taking the time to come up with something amusing and informative is so much more engaging. Infinitely better than saying “I like fishing, running, pizza and my dog.”
Be open and honest
It can be tempting to conceal certain things that you think might be off-putting. After all, being too mysterious can be a sign of a fake dating profile, right? If you think about it though, do you really want to trick someone into going on a date with you?
Maybe you’re anxious about the fact that you have children. Sooner or later she’s going to find out. If it’s a deal breaker for her, that isn’t going to change because she’s been on a date with you.
The same goes for your intentions. If you’re just looking for something short term, be open about that too. It will reduce the number of women who show interest in you but that’s okay. Of the women you do meet up with, you know they’re okay with this fact.
Whatever you’re nervous about, just throw it out there and save yourself and her some time. It reduces a lot of drama and effort so you’ll be glad you did. I say this from experience.
Don’t write a novel
Remember how I said you aren’t competing for the New York Times Best Sellers list? Yeah, no storytelling.
Storytelling is a fantastic skill for dating but save it for the first date. The shorter your profile can be (while still being helpful) the better.
If you can get creative and convey everything about you in just one paragraph, that’s perfect. You don’t want to spend three hours writing your bio and she isn’t going to spend 10 minutes reading it. Like a bad photo can ruin your online dating profile, so too can an overly wordy bio.
Make her laugh
Humor is the perfect way to make her pay attention to you. If you can make her smile or laugh from your profile text alone, she’s definitely going to notice you. Being cute or funny in your online dating profile can also attract older women if you're into them.
This very concept is how the text in my Tinder profile came to be. I experimented with various things over time and humor always worked best.
So many times she would bring this fact up early in the conversation. Sometimes going so far as to literally tell me that I made her laugh and she couldn’t swipe left after that.
Make your English teacher proud
Spelling, grammar and formatting are so much more valuable than you might expect. If you’re unsure of the difference between “their” and “they’re”, this is actually going to hurt you.
A pro tip: install the Grammarly keyboard. It’s available for iOS and Android and keeps an eye on these things for you. If you’re writing on a computer, use Grammarly in your browser instead. It’s free, easy and will definitely help you.
Likewise, nobody ever wants to read a wall of text. Break it up with paragraphs so she can easily skim through and read the parts that interest her.
Think of it like this. If this article were one giant block of text, how likely are you to actually read it?
Positivity is attractive
Knowing your personal likes and dislikes is great. It’s an important part of healthy dating but they shouldn’t be included in your online dating profile.
Even if you have strong dislikes and they’re a deal-breaker for you, mention them in a positive light. Including “if you like xyz, don’t message me” is a huge turnoff. And if you're not into a particular type of woman, don't mention it here. Make your chosen matches do the talking. After all, there's enough racism in online dating as it is.
Remember, she doesn’t know anything about you yet so all she has to go by is your profile. Including a comment like this makes you seem like you’re probably difficult to get along with.
Learning how to write a description of yourself for online dating is so important. With the help of this article and our video dating course though, it won’t feel nearly as intimidating.
If you’re still somewhat nervous about writing it, that’s totally normal. You know how to write an online dating profile now so the only way to get over it is to give it a go.
If the nerves are still getting the better of you, write something today but don’t post it. Read over it again in the morning then just hit submit. No matter what you write, the result will be better than no profile at all!