Advice From A Cougar: The Older Woman Younger Man Relationship


Advice From A Cougar- The Older Woman Younger Man Relationship

Our guest writer Kristin has the following thoughts and advice to share on the older woman younger man relationship that she has gleaned from several past relationships with younger men.

"Some might say that an older woman younger man relationship is tricky. What do us "cougars" say to that? Bah! Not true!

We are not tricky at all and in fact are probably more easy going and relaxed when it comes to creating a relationship than younger women who have not yet found themselves and their security in themselves.

For the most part, we have confidence and there is nothing sexier for us than finding a younger man who knows exactly what he wants. And by the way, we really don't like the label as 'cougar' as it makes us sound like we are promiscuous. Some are offended by the term but some of us shrug it off. Certainly don't address us as a 'cougar' within initially meeting us or your chances with us might be toast.

While we still have our sense of humor, we prefer a little respect. We are open-minded people or we wouldn't be giving each other 'the look' that tells you we find you attractive. So, to stay open-minded, let's just leave the term 'cougar' for a time when we are a little bit more comfortable and can maybe just use it jokingly.

If this is your first time even considering an older woman younger man relationship you should consider looking online first. This site has a great review of the websites that older women actually use. Once you know where you are looking, you need to know the advantages. Why wouldn't you date an older woman? We are generally financially stable and are able to take care of ourselves. We don't need someone to take care of us though we do enjoy companionship. We also are typically better lovers because honestly, we're more experienced. We also are less likely to play head games with our younger men counterparts. An older woman younger man relationship clearly has some perks.

If Hugh Hefner can do it, why not reverse the roles? We aren't dead. We are beautiful and exciting. Why should there be a double standard?

We aren't all the typical Mrs. Robinson personas who are looking for sexy men to prey upon for our next sexy rendezvous. We may be seeking something romantic and fulfilling as well. Age is just a number in an older woman younger man relationship While some women may be hesitant to date a younger man, some see younger men simply as a breath of fresh air.

Young men represent a sense of youth and maybe even fun that a woman has not experienced before or is looking to experience again. There is truth in the fact that developing a relationship with an older woman is not much different than dating one that is in a similar age group as you. However there is also truth in that an older woman defined by society as a 'cougar' is actually not just some older gal who is out on the prowl for fresh young meat to help them through some sort of emotional or age crisis.

One misconception in an older woman younger man relationship is that all older women are just looking for a physical relationship with a younger man. The word 'cougar' is often a word used to portray an older woman who seems to be on the hunt for a man who is much younger than her. It also carries with it a negative connotation though some women pride themselves in being 'cougars' and are able to laugh it off because they are comfortable with the term and find it somewhat humorous.

Most women who are attracted to younger men don't really care what society thinks of them or they would be looking within their own age range. If they're looking for you and you're looking for them, it is very likely you could make a connection as long as there are common interests.

Older women want someone who values them as they are more experienced in life and know a lot more about what they want from a potential relationship than perhaps some of your peers. There are a few tips to consider when decided to pursue an older woman younger man relationship so that together you can build an attraction, develop chemistry, and create a real loving relationship.

This will help you to understand older women a little bit better so that dating is a positive experience for both parties. Who knows? You could even end up being a future husband in an older woman younger man relationship.

Tips For Those Seeking An Older Woman Younger Man Relationship

From A Woman Who Would Know

Older Woman Younger Man Relationship tip #1


The first step to dating an older woman is attraction. We sometimes can be very nonchalant about our feelings and whether or not we are interested in you at first. We want younger men who are a little bit bold but not over-dramatic. Show us that you want to be with us or are interested. Did you see us at a restaurant for the first time or did we lock eyes at the grocery store? Sometimes we are so oblivious that we can sometimes mistake a younger man's look of attraction at us for a young man simply just being nice to us. Tell us we are beautiful or ask us out.

If you at least show a slight sign of attraction, we might even ask you out.

Older Woman Younger Man Relationship tip #2

Don't bring attention to the age gap

One tip for when pursuing an older woman younger man relationship is to never make her feel old. We are aware of the age gap. You're aware of the age gap. Let's just ignore it. Never give in to the stares or the giggles that you might hear around you when you are with an older woman.

As a younger man dating an older woman, as long as you two are comfortable in the relationship, that is all that matters. Just because she is older than you doesn't mean that she wants to do things that are boring. Being older doesn't mean she wants to sit at home and darn your socks. An older woman still has a vibrant life and many still love to be wined and dined and even taken out to clubs. It is a mere insult to treat her any different than you would any other woman you would date just because she is a little older than you.

Sometimes in an older woman younger man relationship your partner can be a little bit insecure about our age too so we certainly don't want our younger man continuously pointing it out. We don't always need quiet nights at home where we cook dinner for you. Just because older women grew up in a different decade than you doesn't mean we aren't all about having a good night out too. We don't all go to bed right as the sun goes down so don't assume we do.

Older Woman Younger Man Relationship tip #3

Your actions speak louder then your age

Remember, age is just a number. Maturity is what counts when it comes to developing a long lasting relationship with an older woman. It is very refreshing to be an older woman younger man relationship with someone who can carry on an intelligent conversation. While we may have our silly moments together, we still appreciate intelligence. Sure, you might be nice to look at but for a relationship to last long term, it is going to have to be more than just good looks and a great roll in the sheets.

When women are looking for an older woman younger man relationship we are just simply looking for men who make us feel beautiful, comfortable, sexy, and smart. Is that really any different than the last relationship you had with a woman of any other age? However, when thinking 'age is just a number' remember that when we are older, we aren't into playing games. We probably won't throw fits over petty things or show our immature side (even though we might if we are having a round of miniature golf or are at the bowling alley).

We aren't into the call, cry, hang up, hope he calls back again, repeat, etc. games. It is not very likely that we are up for youthful shenanigans nor do we have the patience to deal with it. Be a real man and we will treat you with the same respect you treat us.

Older Woman Younger Man Relationship tip #4

A little chivalry goes a long way (but don't overdue it)

Always treat us with respect. Most of us grew up when chivalry was still alive and thriving. Sure, we are self-sufficient but we appreciate the little things such as you holding doors open for us or sliding out our chairs. We like real men who can be gentlemen when it comes down to it. Oh, and if you ever think about playing us or playing games like some young men do, forget it. We like to be chased and it makes us feel desired. It is the most wonderful and flattering feeling to be wanted by a younger man who finds us attractive.

However, we will not play games in an older woman younger man relationship. We've been there and done that. Our relationship doesn't have to be all about maturity because we are all about having a good time too. It's just that when we are looking for a relationship, we know pretty quickly whether or not it is going to be a fling or a thing.
Older Woman Younger Man Relationship tip #5

What her friends think matters

We appreciate men who can tolerate time with our friends too. While our friends are in different age groups, we still want to be able to take each other around our peers. Be open minded about any situation and show respect to the friends in our age group and we will show respect to your friends too. This goes along with the tip about respect. We don't really care what we do, as long as we are together doing it.

An older woman younger man relationship is all about being flexible and willing to get along with friends. It isn't likely that our friends are mutual so we just will find ways to interact with each other's friends while we are working on our own chemistry. Sure, we will show you our softer or sexier side but when we are with our friends, or you are with yours, we may feel a little bit more in our element. It isn't that we don't fit in with each other's peers, but we just are learning how to fit together too. Don't forget.... we may even have children your age. We have already raised them. We don't want to raise you too.

Remember that when in an older woman younger man relationship, it is more than just lust and attraction. We love to carry on conversations all the way into the night. We enjoy time with you but we also know what we want and what we don't want. Some of us have been married before while some of us haven't. It is just pretty likely that we have a little bit more experience in dating than you do and that isn't to be condescending in any way.

We just know what we want, while a younger man, depending on which age group he is in, may still be testing the waters to see what fulfills him. Remember, some older women have never dated a younger man before. Just as we understand that you may not have been in an older woman younger man relationship before. In the real scheme of things, dating an older woman isn't really that much different than dating a woman in your own age range.

One thing is that a lot of us older women are really secure with ourselves but while we are self-reliant, independent, and strong women, we acknowledge the fact that sometimes our age difference can bring a little bit of insecurity at times. We are all different.

Some of us may need a little more reassurance that our age doesn't matter but don't say anything about age...EVER.

Instead, pay us compliments. Show us that you are interested and that you find us attractive. Some of us in older woman younger man relationships may not need any reassurance at all. If you like us, then you will show us. Keep in mind though that we are through playing games. We will be straightforward with you if we are looking for something without strings but the great thing is that if we really like you and are interested in keeping things rolling into an actual strong relationship with longevity, we will also let you know. In an older woman younger man relationship we rarely leave any stones unturned and are pretty likely to let you know how we feel. You will know if we lose interest but the goal here is for you to keep us interested.

And there are certain age ranges you are more comfortable with dating in an older woman younger man relationship. That goes the same for us. Some of us aren't looking for that 40 year age gap. We might be more interested in about a 10 to 15 year age gap. However, who knows? If the attraction is there, the chemistry is flowing, conversation is great, the physical relationship is electric, and we just love being together, why not make it happen? Relationships are always a 50-50 chance. They either work or they don't. So why not take a chance on finding love with someone new (or actually older) who is willing to give it a chance to date, hang out, enjoy each other's company and have a fabulous romance?

For men who are looking for a long lasting and meaningful older woman younger man relationship, it is not necessarily all about looking for her. There may be men who are just naturally more attracted to women who are more mature. This doesn't mean that the woman has one foot in the grave already. It simply means that two people, a man of a younger age and a woman a little bit older, simply enjoy each other's company and just like any other dating experience, it can lead to love and a long lasting relationship for the future.

So how do you keep us older women interested? Be charming. Be vivacious. Show us a good time. Help us find our youth again. Show others that you are proud to have us by your side. There is nothing more appealing than a younger man who is completely confident with an older woman on his arm. If you are still looking for that special someone don't forget to check out the Top Cougar Dating Site Review to find the best places online that older women actually use for dating."

Best of luck,


Join Our Newsletter For Exclusive Dating Tips & Advice
No Spam.
Just Higher Dating Success.


  • Gayle

    Thank you so much for this article Kristin. I'm 67 and have been a widow for eleven years. A little while ago I did some computer work for a very nice 53 year old man and it's turned into a real friendship that will definitely go somewhere - I'm just not sure where right now. We're not actually ''dating'' - just doing a lot of talking about things. I've been trying to work out how I really feel about all this - I'm keen for this friendship to develop, but uncertain how to progress. Uncertain maybe about what people think. Unsure of what I think! You have helped heaps in making me feel much more comfortable talking about this with him.

  • Slim

    Thanks for the advice, Kristen. I’m sevem months into a dating relationship with an older woman. I’m 24. She’s 51. It’s a big age difference, but I am absolutely sure that this is what I want “forever”. Five weeks ago, we took a big step when I introduced her to my parents. She’s five years older than my parents. It was an awkward for meeting for everyone, and I’m glad it’s behind us. It wasn’t the best meeting, but it could have been worse.

    I had her meet my parents because I moved in with her right before introduction. My parents needed to know I changed my address in addition to other things. I didn’t want to hide her anymore and she didn’t want to hide me. I think that’s a good step in the right direction.

    Moving in together and living together has been different and interesting to say the least. I’m learning a lot about her and myself. She could say the same. I’ve never lived with a woman before, much less an older woman, so this is new to me. She’s also a heavy smoker. I have discovered that living with a mother that smokes and dating a smoker did not prepare me for sharing a bed and a small apartment with a smoker. I’m sure she could say some “learning” things about me too. I’m not complaining. I’m just saying that I’m adjusting to my new life with her and it’s a lot different than my old life. And so far, I’m loving every minute of my new life and I hope it lasts “forever”.

Leave a Comment