Advice From A Cougar: The Older Woman Younger Man Relationship

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Useful tips for an older woman younger man relationship

Maybe you just started seeing someone new and you’re looking for older woman younger man relationship tips to help you out.

Maybe you’ve always found yourself drawn to older women, but never had the confidence to start chatting with someone you liked.

Either way, there are lots of helpful tips to know when it comes to dating an older woman. Here are a few to help you out.

Tips For Those Seeking An Older Woman Younger Man Relationship

If this is your first time even considering an older woman younger man relationship, you might begin your search online first. Here’s a great review of the websites that older women actually use.

There are certain things you need to know about being in an older woman younger man relationship. Older women are independent and usually know exactly what they’re looking for. They’re past the point where they’ll settle for a lazy, disrespectful or half-hearted man. And if she hasn’t ever dated anyone younger before, she might not even notice guys like you when she’s out and about.

But when you know exactly how to get her to notice you and what she wants in a man, you’re more likely to be successful in attracting and/or dating an older woman.

Here are our best older woman younger man relationship tips.

Get her to notice you

As I mentioned, younger men like you may not even be on her radar. That’s why it’s your job to show her that you’re exactly the kind of man she needs and wants in her life.

Most older women would be flattered by a compliment from an attractive younger man flirting with them. So simply starting a conversation helps her to notice you and gives her a little ego boost.

Don’t be too over the top or creepy. Keep things relaxed, fun and upbeat. She’s been around enough men at this point to be able to spot the strange ones from a mile away.

If you find her attractive then tell her! What woman doesn’t enjoy hearing a stranger tell her she’s beautiful? It doesn’t matter if she’s attracted to you or not. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain by being forward and honest with her. Plus, she’ll like the confidence this shows.

If the conversation goes well, ask her out for coffee. You never know, she might cut to the chase and ask you out before you get a chance!

You need to try this

Important relationship tip for younger men who like older women: Don't focus on the age gap

One tip for when pursuing an older woman younger man relationship is to never make her feel old. We are aware of the age gap. You're aware of the age gap. Let's just ignore it. Never give in to the stares or the giggles around you when you’re with an older woman. As a younger man dating an older woman, as long as you two are comfortable in the relationship, that is all that matters.

But just because she is older than you doesn't mean that she wants to do things that are boring. Being older doesn't mean she wants to sit at home and darn your socks. An older woman still has a vibrant life. Many still love to be wined and dined and even taken out to bars and clubs.

Sometimes in an older woman younger man relationship, your partner can be a little bit insecure about her age too. So she certainly doesn’t want a younger man continuously pointing it out.

Most women who are attracted to younger men don't really care what society thinks of them. Otherwise, they would be looking within their own age range. If they're looking for you and you're looking for them, it is very likely you could make a connection as long as there are common interests.

Find out what she’s looking for

One misconception in an older woman younger man relationship is that all older women only want a physical relationship with a younger man. The word “cougar” is often a word used to portray an older woman on the hunt for a man much younger than her. It also carries with it a negative connotation. Though some women pride in being cougars. They can laugh it off because they’re comfortable with the term. Some even find it somewhat humorous.

But we aren't all looking for no-strings-attached hookups. We may be seeking something romantic and fulfilling as well. So it’s important not to assume anything and ask the question early on in the relationship.

Strike a balance between having fun and being mature

Remember, age is just a number. Maturity is what counts when it comes to developing a long-lasting relationship with an older woman.

It is very refreshing to be in an older woman younger man relationship with someone who can carry on an intelligent conversation. While we may have our silly moments together, we still appreciate intelligence. Sure, you might be nice to look at. But for a relationship to last long term, we need more than a six-pack and a chiseled jaw.

That being said, older women love men who haven’t forgotten how to have fun and can make them laugh. So know when to be playful and when to be serious.

A surprising relationship tip for men who like older women: a little chivalry goes a long way

Older women might be totally self-sufficient and able to take care of themselves. But that doesn’t mean they don’t want a man who is a gentleman.

That means it’s still important to treat her like a lady. Do things like hold the door open for her, pull her chair out, send her flowers randomly to her office or book a romantic surprise weekend away. It’s little things like these that go a long way.

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We won’t play games

We’re over the games that men tend to play with younger women. If you take an older woman out on a date and want to see her again, then make it clear. Don’t wait three days to call her. She’ll have already moved on by then. Her time is precious and she spends it accordingly.

Playing games also shows immaturity and a lack of respect--both of which are turn-offs for older women who expect better.

What her friends think matters

At this point in her life, a woman probably won’t be easily influenced by others' opinions on her relationships. But she will still value what her close friends have to say on the matter.

So if her friends have a bad feeling about you or notice that you’re not a great fit for her, they will voice this. She will likely take it on board. What she does next is up to her.

This is why it’s important to make a real effort with her friends whenever you meet them. Help them see why you’re the perfect man for her.

She knows what she wants

You can be sure that an older woman has spent long enough on this planet to know what she wants. That applies to her career, her friendships and also to an older woman's romantic relationships with men.

This means that there’s only so much you can do to make yourself noticeable to her. After that, the rest is out of your hands. The two of you may have very different values or lifestyle choices that neither of you are willing to compromise on. And that’s okay.

It’s unlikely that an older woman will change her mind or opinion on what she’s looking for in a man. If you’re not what she’s looking for, she’ll know almost instantly and make it clear to you. Be respectful of this.

Older women are independent

She has her own friends that she likes to socialize with. She probably has her own hobbies like going to the gym or taking weekly yoga classes. Sometimes she just wants to have a night in on her own at her place with some nice food and a glass of wine.

This is because an older woman has learned the art of enjoying her own company. So be sure to give her enough space. Don’t expect to see her every night. Carry on with your own life too because she’ll actually find you more attractive if you have a life outside of her.

The most important older woman younger man relationship tip: she still wants to feel desired

When women reach a certain age, they can begin to feel invisible. This is because they’ve lost that youthful beauty they had in their twenties. So will often be looked at by the opposite sex far less. Some women welcome this with open arms and are happy to not be on the receiving end of catcalling. But some can’t help but feel like they’re not attractive anymore.

All women--regardless of our age--want to feel attractive and desired. If you’re in a relationship with an older woman, make sure you tell her she’s beautiful. Help her see what you see.

You may not need to go looking for her

For men who are looking for a meaningful older woman younger man relationship, it is not necessarily all about looking for her. There may be men who are just naturally more attracted to women who are more mature.

Two people, a man of a younger age and a woman a little bit older, simply enjoy each other's company. And just like any other dating experience, it can lead to love and a long-lasting relationship for the future.

Our top relationship tip for younger men with older women: be confident in yourself

The truth is, confidence goes a long way with women, regardless of their age. So be confident in yourself and what you have to offer an older woman. You probably have some amazing qualities that would make you a wonderful partner to someone.

If you are still looking for that special someone, don't forget to check out our Top Cougar Dating Sites Review to find the best places online that older women actually use for dating.

And remember: the most important part of dating and relationships is to make sure you’re both happy and having fun with each other. If you are, then who cares about the age gap?

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2 Comments

  • Gayle

    Thank you so much for this article Kristin. I'm 67 and have been a widow for eleven years. A little while ago I did some computer work for a very nice 53 year old man and it's turned into a real friendship that will definitely go somewhere - I'm just not sure where right now. We're not actually ''dating'' - just doing a lot of talking about things. I've been trying to work out how I really feel about all this - I'm keen for this friendship to develop, but uncertain how to progress. Uncertain maybe about what people think. Unsure of what I think! You have helped heaps in making me feel much more comfortable talking about this with him.

  • Slim

    Thanks for the advice, Kristen. I’m sevem months into a dating relationship with an older woman. I’m 24. She’s 51. It’s a big age difference, but I am absolutely sure that this is what I want “forever”. Five weeks ago, we took a big step when I introduced her to my parents. She’s five years older than my parents. It was an awkward for meeting for everyone, and I’m glad it’s behind us. It wasn’t the best meeting, but it could have been worse.

    I had her meet my parents because I moved in with her right before introduction. My parents needed to know I changed my address in addition to other things. I didn’t want to hide her anymore and she didn’t want to hide me. I think that’s a good step in the right direction.

    Moving in together and living together has been different and interesting to say the least. I’m learning a lot about her and myself. She could say the same. I’ve never lived with a woman before, much less an older woman, so this is new to me. She’s also a heavy smoker. I have discovered that living with a mother that smokes and dating a smoker did not prepare me for sharing a bed and a small apartment with a smoker. I’m sure she could say some “learning” things about me too. I’m not complaining. I’m just saying that I’m adjusting to my new life with her and it’s a lot different than my old life. And so far, I’m loving every minute of my new life and I hope it lasts “forever”.

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