Do you keep getting rejected by every girl? You’re not alone. It’s frustrating to be a man and not have women appreciate you - or even give you the time of day. You may have read some articles online, achieved mixed results, and often think “Why don’t any of these women like me?” Well, the answer is different for every guy, but there are practical solutions to this problem.
In this article, we will discuss why you keep getting rejected by every girl you meet along with some solutions to improve your rate of success.
Why You Keep Getting Rejected by Every Girl
Here are some of the top reasons women reject men along with a few tips on how you can improve your success rates.
You come off as needy
Women hate men who appear to want something from them. If you’re approaching a woman with a needy mindset or even an opener that asks her for something, you’re likely to get rejected outright.
Most women intuitively understand that there’s no such thing as a free lunch (TNSTAAFL). Offering gifts or a free drink comes with strings attached and puts her at a disadvantage. After all, if she does accept your neediness, she may feel that you expect something from her - even if that neediness is just making casual conversation.
Solution: Approach women with the idea that the outcome doesn’t really matter. Even in the back of your mind, try to focus on not caring whether you get her number or not; instead, try to exude a positive demeanor that doesn’t rely on her approval or disapproval.
You have obvious physical flaws
Let’s be honest: Women judge men on their attractiveness. If she doesn’t think you’re handsome enough, you’re going to keep getting rejected by every girl that values a handsome man by her side.
Solution: Take an objective assessment of how attractive you truly are. Look at every aspect of your body and find a way to fix it:
- Bad haircut? Spend money on a decent cut with a barber.
- Overweight? Start incorporating exercise into your daily routine.
- Lack muscle mass? Lift weights at home or hit the gym at least 3 times a week.
- Got yellow teeth? Get them whitened.
- Crooked teeth? Get braces or corrective surgery.
- A lazy eye? Consider surgery, corrective lenses, or practice eye exercises
- Unsightly moles? Remove them at a dermatologist clinic.
- Patchy beard? Consider going clean-shaven.
Granted, some of these solutions aren’t accessible to most men. So if at all possible, focus instead on becoming fit and as hygienic as possible.
Even for the most attractive men, bad hygiene is a serious turn-off for women. Hygiene issues are obviously more fixable, so be sure to brush your teeth, shave as needed, trim your facial hair evenly, and shower regularly to give yourself a fighting chance. Also, stay away from foods that can give you bad breath, like garlic or coffee.
In a pinch, carry breath mints and a small hygiene kit with you when you’re on the go to ensure that you’re at your best when you want to approach women.
You are not being genuine
The “nice guy act” is often criticized for precisely being precisely that: an act. Women learn early on to discern when a person is being genuine versus trying to manipulate them. If she suspects that you’re putting on a show to hide your true motives, she’ll reject you simply for self-preservation purposes.
Solution: If you keep getting rejected by every girl for not being genuine, it may be time to reassess why you’re approaching women in the first place. You need to be able to disarm a woman’s suspicions about your intent by acting as your genuine self - not some puffed-up character that you think women will be the most receptive to.
In fact, you will have better odds if you approach her with how you really feel inside. For example, if it’s an overcast day, you can sarcastically quip “Nice weather we’re having, right?”. She may be feeling the same way and that can at least give you an “in” where you otherwise wouldn’t.
You are not her type
Women choose men based on which type of man they present themselves as. Based on your style, she may reject you if you don’t fit the ideal that you’re presenting to the world. For example, if she’s into rugged guys and you’re the neat and tidy type, she may not believe you hold the same values as her.
Solution: Dress according to the type of women that you want to appeal to. If you want to appeal to upscale women, you may want to wear business casual. For artsy girls, wearing paint-smeared overalls is a good go-to. Fitness girls obviously want to see some muscle, so tighter clothing to show off your gym body is a good choice.
Bear in mind that you can fit different types based on your clothing choices. In effect, clothing is a type of social signaling, so make sure that you calibrate yourself based on the setting that you hope to attract women.
You cause bad memories
One surprisingly common reason why a girl rejects you is because you remind her of a person or a situation she has bad memories of. Her natural protective instinct will block you before you even get a chance to prove that you are not who she believes you are.
Here are a few examples of this in the real world:
- Her ex-boyfriend may have had the same hairstyle as you.
- A guy that tried to assault her met her in the same place where you are approaching her.
- Your voice and choice of words remind her of her father with whom she had a rough childhood.
Solution: There’s very little to do in this scenario - and you may never discover that this was the reason that she rejected you. As with any rejection, stop taking it seriously or believing that if you only could prove to her you are different from her assumptions, she’d see the light. Move on and save yourself the heartache.
You are choosing a happily-partnered woman
If a woman is in a relationship with a man she truly loves, there is absolutely nothing you can do to overcome this barrier. Unless you are far better than her current partner, a woman will reject you based on her own set of ethics and investment in her current partner.
Being happily partnered with a man makes a woman far less likely to involve herself with another man. While some women may consider cheating, cheating for a woman is a risky proposition.
Solution: Unless her relationship fails, there’s nothing you can do but wait until she’s single again. Even if you’re on friendly terms at work or through your social network, there’s no guarantee that she would choose you or be receptive.
Your timing sucks
Timing is everything when it comes to not being rejected. There are multiple dynamics when it comes to timing, but if you’re approaching a woman at the wrong time, you increase your odds of being rejected.
Also, not understanding these time dynamics shows a lack of awareness of the situation and her mental state when you approach.
Solution: There are different times when women are closed off to approaches. Here’s a brief list:
- She’s menstruating and wants a dominant male
- She’s not menstruating and she wants a caring partner
- It’s the first of the month and she’s worried about paying rent, not finding a date
- It’s winter and she already has a partner to keep her warm
- She’s busy with school/work/life
- It’s too early in the morning
- It’s Monday and she’s worried about running late for work
- She’s at work and doesn’t want to bring her love life to the workplace
- She’s having a bad day
- It’s too early at the bar and she doesn’t want to go home with anyone
- It’s too late and she feels unsafe by talking to strangers
- And so forth
As you can see, most of these issues are out of your control. You can offer to show genuine interest if she’s having a bad day, for example, to make her happy. However, there are no guarantees that striking up a conversation or asking out your coworker are going to succeed.
She saw other women reject you
Social proof works in a number of ways. On one hand, if you’re with a woman, you increase the odds of other women viewing you favorably. On the other hand, if you approach women and are rejected by them, other women take notice.
It’s hard to come back from another girl blowing you off in front of everyone else, as she may think that another woman noticed something negative about you that she can’t see just yet.
Solution: Limit your approaches in a public space. Nothing is creepier than a person going from person to person in hopes that one eventually is receptive. And if you do get rejected, try to not act dejected; instead, go on with your day and act as if this is a normal occurrence in human relations (which it is).
You are approaching women too aggressively
If you approach a woman with an aggressive mindset, she may be turned off or scared. Because women are risk-averse, they may not want to get involved with a man that holds eye contact too long, asks sexual questions right off the bat, or suggests a threat of violence if she declines your advances. Other women don’t appreciate men invading their personal space and want to be approached when they feel comfortable.
Solution: There is a clear difference between being assertive versus aggressive, so you may need to do an inventory of which actions, settings, and other factors led to a rejection. Also, pay attention to when women are most receptive to meeting new men versus when they want to be left alone.
You’re not being clear in your intent
It is absolutely necessary that you project your intent from the beginning. Casually striking up a conversation that goes nowhere is more often an annoyance or just small talk - both of which don’t demonstrate that you’re looking to be in her life as a partner, friend, or a hookup.
Solution: With every approach, pay attention to when she loses interest. You may have a great opener and even get her to laugh/smile, but if you don’t capitalize on it, she’ll lose interest.
Instead, do what salesmen do: Always Be Closing (ABC). You want to always have a clear intent to seal the deal. Whether this means making plans, exchanging numbers, or warming her up for the future (when the timing is better, if she’s at work or occupied for the moment), you need to always have a clear goal and get her to sign on the line which is dotted.
You are scared of being rejected - and it shows
Have you ever encountered a bad salesman who doesn’t have confidence in his approach or his product?
Approaching women with a lack of confidence is basically a death sentence. Women can sense and feel if you are afraid of them. And the more afraid you are of her (or women in general), the higher the chance that she will sense your fear and that she will reject you. This leads to a self-fulfilling prophecy of more fear, more rejections, and even depression.
Solution: As with any fear, exposure to the stimulus helps you overcome rejection and project confidence. To do so, you should approach more women to get more feedback about when and where women lose interest. This can be daunting, but it will help you get better at approaching women.
You may be surprised to realize that many of these fears stem from childhood or previous bad experiences with women (even those outside of dating). Start by doing a thorough self-analysis and pinpointing negative experiences. Go over each encounter and try to dissect what went wrong, paying attention to how it continues to trip you up to the present day.
While this topic is beyond the scope of this article, cognitive behavioral therapy (CPT) and psychoanalysis may help you discover subconscious problems that you may not even be aware of.