The Best Ways To Talk To Women Online And Get Their Attention

We give you the best tips on how to talk to women online so you get a date.

If you’ve been ignored by too many women online for far too long, I’m going to show you the best ways to talk to women online and get their attention. Talking to women online can be exhausting unless you know a few tricks of the trade.

The beauty of meeting and talking to a woman online is that you can research, reread, retype, and spell check every last message before it goes out into cyberspace so you can create messages that will intrigue more women than you’ve ever imagined.

There are a few simple tricks you can implement starting today to get a conversation started with women online.

The Best Ways To Talk To Women Online Is To Have A Blueprint From A Woman, TYVM.

Women don’t want to be seen as an object all the time and they want to read words, not alien-like objects in their inbox.

But first things first— You need to do your English homework. So get out your dictionaries fellas, especially if you’re a terrible speller because you’re going to need it.

Being the spelling bee king is one of the best ways to talk to women online and get their attention.

Women love a smart man, especially one who pays attention to little things like grammar and real words. She’s a real woman you know.

Things like the words cant, luv, wat, and ur get under our skin, and not in an attraction-creating-get-into-our-pants kind of way.  Don’t make a cougar have to look up the meaning of wrud on the urban dictionary. Women are busy and don’t want to take time out of their busy day to analyze your YMMD, IMHO, THX, HF, cryptic messages.

Hopefully, you’re no longer using netspeak with women and are getting ready to type Sarah a real message with words, full sentences and good grammar.

Spell it out, guys. If you want to say for your eyes only, please, for the love of God don’t put 4YEO. That’s just wrong. If you’re messaging your little sister go for it, but an adult woman sees netspeak as childish.

Guy’s Guide To Grammar Basics For Online Messages

I’m going to go over some online dating grammar basics, so you don’t look like an oaf. These are the most common grammar mistakes that will kill your dating potential.

  • Not using capital letters at the beginning of a sentence.
  • Netspeak, of course, is off limits, unless she starts using it first.
    • “LOL” and “OMG” are the only exceptions. Almost everyone knows what these mean.
  • Subject-Verb agreement problems.
    • Example:
      • Incorrect: “An essential part of online dating have been to learn proper grammar, so I look smart.”
      • Correct: “An important part of online dating has been to learn grammar, so I look clever.”
  • When you write something, read it out loud to make sure that it makes sense. You want to type how you would speak out loud.
  • Misusing “It’s and Its”
    • It’s means it is.
      • Example:
        • “It’s my hat.”
    • “Its” is the possessive form of “it.”
      • Example:
        • “The dog is chasing its tail.”
    • Double check the sentence and say the words “it is” to replace “it’s” or “its,” to make sure it’s correct.
  • Misusing “Their,” “They’re” and “There”
    • “They’re” means “they are.”
      • Example: “They’re getting no dates online because of their bad grammar.”
    • “Their” is a possessive pronoun of “they.”
      • Example: “They left their proper grammar at their mom’s house and don’t know how to impress a woman online.”
      • Example: “Let’s go there to watch a movie on our date.”

How To Talk To Women Online —  Don’t Talk About Her Physical Appearance

Yeah, we know you think she is beautiful, but she doesn’t need to hear you say it. Because she already knows you think that. That’s why you are sending her a message, right?  In that aspect, she’s onto you. She knows why you are popping up in her inbox— because you think she is hot.

If you think she is a dog, we both know you are not going to message her. And if she’s pretty— well, she’s going to get a hundred other messages telling her the same exact thing, and you don’t want to be “that” guy.

“That” guy is 30 out of 50 of the last messages she’s recently gotten in her inbox, that say, “you are so sexy”, or “Hey Cutie,” and she knows it’s only a pickup line so you can get in her pants. It just doesn’t work.

According to OKCupid’s Blog, a site which analyzes their matches data and their messages, this is the list of the lowest response rate because of words used.





Don’t even think about using these words in an online message — ever. It will make you look desperate.

Even though you think the woman you are messaging is beautiful, she puts her pants on every day, just like you.

Compliments of the more general persuasion do much better. Here is a list of the analyzed words from lowest rated to the highest.


“It’s nice that”



The previous list will serve your highest dating good. Use them or ones similar — often.

The Best Ways To Talk To Women Online Is To Be Specific

What do I mean by this?

Specifics things are more likely to get the attention of someone you like online, because people are into themselves. If you notice she has a dog, you can talk about an experience you had with Fluffy growing up and also ask about her pooch.

Specific words have been shown to have good response rates.

Here are some of the top words analyzed: from the most popular to least popular, and they all had good stats. Since this is geared toward messaging women I will leave out the words video games and metal from my list.

  1. Band
  2. Vegetarian
  3. Zombie
  4. Favorite movies
  5. Tattoo(s)
  6. Physics
  7. Grad school
  8. Literature

If she mentions that she loves music in her profile you could say, “If you had to listen to one band for the rest of your life, who would you pick?”

Your dream girl online has visible tattoos— ask her about the meaning or her tattoo artist. People with tattoos love to tell you the stories behind them.

She mentions reading in her profile— ask her what kinds of books she likes to read.

There may be a restaurant photo of her, so comment on how the food looks and ask where the restaurant is located. If you see peanut sauce on her plate you can tell her you know a hole-in-the-wall with the most amazing Pad Thai.

Wine glasses are in her photos, so you can ask about her favorite type of wine. Red? White? Pinot Noir? Pinot Grigio? And tell her yours.

Specifics can get her engaged on a deeper level fast and women love to talk about themselves. And when you mention details that are relevant to her, she’ll know you read her profile and paid attention to what she likes.

Paying attention to what a woman likes speaks volumes to her.

Speaking of what people like, another compliment you can use is to say something else about her that you noticed.

Like, “What a great purse! I can tell you have great taste in accessories” and use a winky face.

The Best Ways To Talk To Women Online— Is To Be Different

So many men make the enormous mistake of sending a super lame first message. If the woman is extremely attracted to you, you might get away with a dull “Hi” opening line, but otherwise, straight to the trash can.

“Hi,” “hello” and “hey” have the lowest salutation ratings for message responses.

“How’s it going,” “what’s up,” “howdy,” and even “yo” (I don’t suggest this one), fared much better.

Another trick is to skip the salutation altogether and get right to the point of your message.

I know it’s easy to cut an paste something that you’ve sent to 27 other women, but this never works. I’m also going to let you in on a big secret . . .

Women are supremely intuitive, and the woman you are connecting with online will know that you sent the same message to a bunch of other women before her and after her. She’s onto you. Don’t cut and paste — ever. This terrible first impression will never impress her.

According to Psychology Today the parts of a woman’s brain that regulates her first impressions about you are in the amygdala and the posterior cingulate cortex. It’s deep stuff I know.

These parts of her brain are scoring you on the first impression she has about you, and this happens in a split second. You want her animalistic brain to go into pounce mode, not delete mode.

So, impress her with your vast knowledge of the best ways to talk to women online that you’ve learned here today. You’ll stand out from the other men because you’ve done your homework on what a woman like her desires most from a man.

You’re creative, clever, a good communicator and you’ll make a lasting impression on her from day one. You are the man.

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