Let’s be honest: telling a girl she’s pretty is a cliché. She will usually respond with an awkward “thanks” and spend the rest of her life trying to avoid you. Without the right setting and approach, a compliment like, "You're beautiful" implies Before I show you how to tell a girl she’s pretty without being weird or awkward, there is something you need to know...
The reason why most guys come across as weird and creepy to women is not that they aren’t good-looking or cool enough. For the most part, it's nothing to do with the guy at all. Even a good-looking guy can creep a girl out if he makes this mistake.
Let me explain.
Compliments: The Difference Between Men and Women
It’s a lack of understanding of what it is like to be a woman. And what I am going to tell you will probably hit home like a body blow. You see, as a man, it is impossible to get better with women until you realize that her experience of the world is completely different from ours.
If a gorgeous young woman, in a skin-tight outfit with big boobs, a tight ass and long legs walked up to you and said, “Hey there, you are so handsome”. We would either feel like all our Christmases had come at once or else we are about to be scammed.
You see, as men, our biggest fear when we are interacting with women is being rejected or humiliated. We form defense strategies to protect ourselves from being rejected or humiliated by women. That is why it can feel so uncomfortable to approach a girl or ask her out.
For a woman, her biggest fear is being physically harmed or sexually assaulted. And I know what you are thinking, “I would never harm a woman”, and I bet you are right. The problem is she doesn’t know that yet so she needs to protect herself.
So if you go in and tell her she’s pretty, she won’t necessarily take it as a genuine compliment. She’ll have thoughts racing through her mind like, “why is this guy talking to me?”, “what does he want?” or “please leave me alone.” It’s sad that this is the case, but women tend to have their guard up when a random guy approaches them.
The more you understand things from a woman’s perspective, the more attractive you will be to her. And you will feel less frustration and confusion by how she responds to you.
With that in mind, let’s talk about how you can give a woman a genuine compliment without creeping her out.
How to Tell a Girl She's Pretty through Text
My friend Chloe was telling me that every time she posts a story on Instagram, a bunch of guys will hit up her DMs. She said it is pretty uncomfortable because she knows they are all going to start coming on to her very strongly. And she hates having to reject them so bluntly.
When I asked her how she likes to be complimented through text, she said, “when it is clear that they are not looking for a follow-up.” If I am interested, I will respond more or find a way to start another conversation.
The best way to tell a girl she’s beautiful is to have no agenda
So, if you see an Instagram story from a girl that gets your heart racing and you are wondering how to tell a girl she’s pretty, check your inner motivations for wanting to do so. Are you just giving a compliment or are you wanting something from her in return?
The worst way to tell a girl she is beautiful is when you are expecting something in return like a date, a relationship, sex, a conversation, whatever. This is coming from a place of insecurity, inadequacy and the need to get approval.
A genuine kind compliment is rooted in confidence and compassion with no ulterior motives.
Telling a woman she’s beautiful doesn’t mean she will like you
If she’s pretty, she already has a bunch of guys telling her already. She is not going to jump into bed with every man who tells her she’s pretty. So before you think about how to tell her she’s pretty, you’ve got to be cool if she doesn’t like you back.
Let me explain why...
The average man will lust after the average woman but women are more selective about who they have sex with. It’s not uncommon for the average guy to have a sexual fantasy about almost every woman he meets.
But the average woman isn’t lusting after every guy she meets. The good news is, your attractiveness isn’t set in stone, there are things you can do to be desired more by women. The more you demonstrate these attractive qualities to her over time, the more receptive she will be to your compliments.
Telling a woman she is beautiful is only creepy when you don’t get the picture that she is not that into you and she is forced to reject you harshly. It’s not in a woman’s nature to like rejecting guys for fear of retaliation. She would rather keep you hanging around as a non-sexual orbiter than to reject you bluntly.
The best way to tell a woman she’s beautiful is to NOT tell her
You can assume that a beautiful woman has been objectified, admired, hit on and harassed by men from ages sixteen to sixty including classmates, teachers, coaches, co-workers, bosses and even random strangers.
This is one reason why telling a girl she is beautiful is pointless. For the most part, women assume that receiving a compliment means they're required to respond positively. If they ignore the comment from a stranger, they're labeled as "bitchy" or a snob. If they accept the compliment and nothing more, the one complimenting her might think she's full of herself.
So the best way to show her that you appreciate her beauty is by telling her something she doesn’t know already. Find out about her interests, ambitions in life, anything that reveals something about her beyond her beauty. Your interest in her will show her that you appreciate who she is and not just the way she looks.
Just talk to her as if her looks aren’t a big deal. You will find out things about her character and life achievements that you can appreciate and she will be glad you did. You will then know how to tell a girl she’s pretty without explicitly mentioning her looks.
How to Tell a Girl She's Beautiful in Person
Telling a girl she is beautiful through text is easy, but complimenting a girl in person can be more challenging for most guys. If you want to know how to tell a girl she’s pretty in person, there is one important thing to note...
Women like to be complimented by guys they like
As a man, you might have some envy towards women given their sexual power in the dating market. It’s true, she could sleep with almost any guy she wants and get laid every weekend, but as I have said already, women evolved to want different things than men.
In fact, it is much harder for a beautiful woman to find an attractive man who will commit to her and meet all her needs.
The great news for men is, you can work on becoming a more attractive man. Engaging in rigorous exercise, having a solid social network, pursuing your passions, practicing kindness, working on your mental health and eliminating bad habits are some ways you can improve your attractiveness to women.
The more you’ve demonstrated these attractive traits to a woman, the more she will be receptive to your compliments.
Tell her she’s pretty with your actions and not your words
If you like a girl and want to ask her out, telling her “you’re pretty” is not going to get you a result. It’s too passive. It puts all the pressure on her to make the next move and you are going to be disappointed when she awkwardly replies “thank you”.
How do you follow up after that?
If she likes you back, she will probably make it more explicit. She will do this by lingering in your presence more, finding things to chat about, being more responsive to you but...
You will have to take the lead at some point. So the best way to tell her she’s beautiful is through your actions not your words. What I mean is, go talk to her. Ask her questions to find out more about her, touch her, tease her, flirt with her and if there is chemistry between you, then ask her out.
So before you tell her she’s pretty, take a moment to pause. Understand that men and women have completely different experiences when it comes to dating. Check in on your inner motivations and why you want to tell her she is beautiful. Be cool with the fact that she might not like you. Look for the beauty beyond her looks. Work on becoming more attractive to women and lead with your actions rather than your words.
The Dos and Don’ts of How to Tell a Girl She’s Cute
While it might seem like the same on the surface telling a girl she's cute can be a lot different than telling her that she's pretty. Women think about these two things VERY differently and will take the compliment in different ways.
Tell a girl she's cute is a lot more fun and playful than telling her she's pretty. Cute doesn't necessarily mean you have any kind of romantic interest in her (babies are cute after all) but when you tell her she's pretty it's a lot more direct and obvious.
The three biggest attraction killers for women are approval-seeking behavior, expecting something from her and sexually objectifying her. Sadly, the average guy ticks every box by the way he typically tells a girl she is cute.
No woman wants to be used as a sexual object to make you feel good about yourself.
So if you’ve been dying to tell someone she’s cute, here’s what you should and shouldn’t do.
Don’t simp on cute girls
A “simp” is a term used to describe a man who puts himself in a subservient position in the hopes of winning a girl over without her having to do anything other than look cute. A simp will do anything to receive affection from a girl.
No matter what a girl does, a simp sees no wrong in her. Some guys get so invested in girls they don’t even know that they wait for her to notice them one day. Spoiler alert: they never do.
Simp’s get taken advantage of by manipulative women. They will let a woman walk all over them in the hope they will get something out of it.
Here is probably the most important advice you will read on how to tell a girl she’s cute; Never spend more time thinking about a girl than you do spending time with her.
If you are obsessed with one particular girl, your compliment is going to be loaded with emotional attachments and your neediness is going to leak out in the message. If you find yourself thinking about a girl all the time, then you should definitely not tell her she is cute.
Don’t expect her to jump into a relationship with you
There is always a high chance that she is just not that into you and you’ve got to be cool with that. She is not going to jump into a relationship with you for telling her she's cute.
Since puberty when she started to develop hips, breasts and pretty facial features, she has had to deal with all kinds of creepers telling her she is cute and she is probably sick of it. A compliment (that’s probably loaded with attachment) might make her notice you, but it’s usually not enough to get her to like you.
Just blurt it out
If you really want to tell her she is cute then the less you censor yourself the better. Just blurt it out as a form of self-expression not because you want anything from her in return.
You can even over-exaggerate her physical appearance so it comes across as more playful. My Italian friend, Hugo, would do something like this on our nights out. He would approach a girl and say, “Wow, you are an atomic bomb” as he continued to exaggerate how good-looking she was.
This worked well for him as the girls could tell he was amusing himself rather than trying to get a reaction. He was just expressing himself while having a good night out with his friends. He wasn’t even thinking about how to tell a girl she's cute, he just blurted it out and didn’t give a damn what anyone thought.
Your life doesn’t depend on her reaction
When I complimented a girl on her looks, it worked not only because I had no expectations but because I was having a good time with my friends. The girl saw I was enjoying my night with or without her and I was even talking to other girls.
If you're looking for the right way to tell a girl she’s cute this is it.
Have something greater than a cute girl going on in your life. If you’re checking your phone every minute to see if she responds, then you are going to appear needy and unattractive to the vast majority of women.
When you have cool stuff going on in your life, she knows you are going to have fun with or without her. It shows her that you’re not some loser who’ll shell out compliments because he craves attention from women.
How to tell a girl she’s cute without saying it
A woman can tell how well your life is going in a few seconds. Your face and body are showing all kinds of cues that reveal how you are feeling about yourself. You are sub communicating your sexual experience, self-confidence and personality and she can see it all.
Before you even say a word, she will know whether she is attracted to you and if you are someone she wants to get to know. A woman will smell low-status pick lines a mile away. So it is never what you say but how you say it.
Try telling her you find her cute with your eyes, your body language, by teasing her or using sexual innuendos. When she does something cute, give her a smile or ask her about it. Men typically want to cut to the chase, but women love the anticipation that comes with flirting.
What to Do After Telling a Girl She’s Cute
Maybe you’ve done some of the don'ts on how to tell a girl she’s cute and you’ve been left hanging. What should you do in that case?
Get to know other women
You never want to put all your eggs in one basket when you are pursuing a girl. For a start, you will be less needy as you know you have other options. But women will be more attracted to you when they see that other women like you. This is the concept of pre-selection.
Tell her she is cute but act like it is no big deal
“Hey, I told you that you are cute, what do you think about that?”
It sounds awkward, yet I know this is what most guys are thinking. As if she is going to make some big confession that she has been harboring secret feelings for you all this time… Not going to happen!
So even if she responds with an awkward “thank you”, your best bet is to act as if it is no big deal. Just carry on getting to know her. Keep being interested in her by asking her questions and spending time with her. Be a good conversationalist who listens.
Observe whether she is more or less responsive to you since you told her she is cute. If she seems less available, it is a clear sign that she is just not that into you. If she is interested in you, she will start asking you more questions and finding ways to stay on your radar.
You can tell a girl she’s cute if it’s coming from the right place. If your compliment is rooted in confidence with no ulterior motives, it might be received well. If you are complimenting her because you want something from her, then it is probably going to creep her out.