So, you want to have casual sex with no strings attached? While you might be able to find a regular booty call, there’s always a risk of catching feelings. If you’re looking to get laid without all the fuss, a one night stand might be a good option. Unfortunately, how to get a one night stand isn't always clear––but that's why we're here to help!
Sometimes, both men and women are interested in just sex, and everyone has their own reasons. There are some risks involved with having a one-nighter, but it can also be pretty thrilling. Also, it’s a chance to improve on your moves in bed without the pressure of a relationship.
Are you wondering how to get a one night stand? Here’s everything you need to know about finding a willing partner and pulling it off.
First of all, what exactly is a one-night stand? For some people, it means having sex with a stranger and never seeing them again. For others, it may imply hooking up with a friend or acquaintance with no intention of repeating the act.
Of course, you might enjoy sleeping with someone enough to want to do it again. But that’s not how a one-night stand works. If you do it multiple times, it will fall under the casual sex category. However, that’s neither here nor there. Right now, you want to get down with a woman just once––and you want to know how to achieve it.
If you’re not committed to anyone, why not enjoy your freedom and experiment with different people? Consider this your guide on how to get a one night stand starting with where you should be looking to find local hookups to closing the deal.
As I said, everyone has personal reasons for seeking casual sex and one-time hookups. Depending on where you live and your unique situation, finding a willing partner might be relatively easy or somewhat challenging.
The first step in getting a one-night stand is knowing where to look. You might find sexually adventurous women at bars, clubs, house parties or other social events.
Weddings are known as a place where single people hook up. When unattached guests witness a romantic declaration of lifelong devotion, it can make them feel hopeless and desperate for attention. Taking advantage of a bridesmaid’s loneliness isn’t unheard of. But telling her you’re looking for love just to get her in bed is unethical. So, just make sure you’re honest about your intentions.
Dating apps are also an excellent place to find a one-night stand. Some apps and dating sites are more geared toward hooking up than others. Adult FriendFinder, Cougar Life, and Tinder can be great for casual sex.
Just keep in mind that some people go on these platforms to find relationships. This is purely anecdotal evidence, but I met my husband on Tinder. So, I know at least some people on the app are looking for something serious.
As long as you’re clear about not wanting to date anyone, you should be good to go. That being said, many women feel unsafe going to a stranger’s home before meeting them in public. You may need to set up some kind of meet-and-greet first.
The paradox of a one night stand is that while it’s meant to be spontaneous, it usually won’t happen automatically. As I said, having sex with someone you hardly know is a safety risk. For a woman to be comfortable going home with you, she might need more information than your dating profile.
It’s possible you’ll find a complete stranger who’s willing to get it on the night you meet. However, you shouldn’t expect to pull it off without a little effort. What it takes to seal the deal will vary among different women. For some, you might need to hang out once or twice. And for others, you may just need to buy her a drink at the bar.
When hooking up with a friend or acquaintance, she might more comfortable since you already know each other. Still, the possibility of you being a serial killer will likely cross a woman’s mind during a one-night stand. If mutual friends can vouch for you, you’ll have a better chance of getting lucky.
Speaking of putting in effort, I recommend dressing to impress and preparing your home. Just because you’re not looking to be anyone’s boyfriend doesn’t mean you don’t need to present your best self.
When you head out to a bar, club or party, put something on that fits well. Also, your clothes should be clean and free of wrinkles. Before you leave, make sure your home is clean. Make your bed, put your belongings away, take the garbage out and make sure there aren’t dishes in the sink. In addition to tidying up, do a quick wipe down of every surface in your home.
Women can tell when guys just throw everything in a closet to make their home look clean. Go a step further and make sure there isn’t a layer of dust and grime throughout your home. Making your bed is a must, but washing your bedding is even better. Trust me, it will boost your chances of getting laid!
Whether you look for a woman out in public or online, you’ve got to craft your approach. You want to say something that will get a woman to have sex with you without coming off as sleazy. It’s all about being smooth and leading with confidence.
When making the first impression, flattery will get you far, but you need to be careful not to overdo it. Also, since you’re only looking for sex, you may want to compliment her physical attributes more than her personality. If you applaud her character, intelligence, or career aspirations too much? She might get the impression that you want to get to know her outside of the bedroom.
Tell her you’re attracted to her and ask her about her life. You don’t need to get too personal here, but it’s also important not to be rude. It’s OK to be direct and say something like, “I’d love to take you home tonight.”
On the other hand, there’s no need to rush it. In fact, you may have more success by being patient. After meeting a woman you want to hook up with, you might invite her to come over on a different night. Even if you don’t want a girlfriend, it’s still fun to flirt. So, joke around, be playful and get into some lighthearted banter. Accept the fact that you might not hook up the same night you meet someone and just go with the flow.
As I mentioned, being clear about your intentions is crucial. You might be able to get a woman to have sex with you by acting like you want to date her. Lots of guys do this, and sometimes, it works. But that's not how to get a one night stand. If you’re dishonest about your intentions, it can come back to haunt you. Especially if you know the woman personally or have mutual friends. Word will get around that you’re a player.
To be clear, having casual sex and one-night stands doesn’t make you a player. What makes you a player is falsely claiming you have feelings for someone. Or telling them you want a relationship just to get in their pants. See the difference?
So, don’t pretend like you’re looking for “the one” and then ghost a woman after sleeping with her. Using people for sex or leading them on is not cool. Sometimes, you might lead someone on by accident, but in most instances, it’s avoidable.
If you’re going to have a one-night stand, keep in mind the sex should be enjoyable for both parties. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to get your rocks off without commitment. However, even if you don’t plan to see her again, you should make sure she has a good time.
A survey by Zava, an online healthcare provider in the UK, indicates that only 11% of women reach orgasm during a one-night stand. Compare that to men, who climax 64% of the time during one-time encounters. You might not be able to guarantee an orgasm for the woman you take home, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try.
Lastly, having a one-night stand doesn’t give you a pass to be a jerk. Even if you’re not looking for a relationship, you can still be respectful without leading a woman on. As long as you’re forthright about your intentions, there’s no need to kick her out as soon as the sex ends.
Depending on the situation, it might be OK to have her stay the night. If not, make sure you don’t rush her out the door. Many one-night stands leave people feeling bad about themselves. Neither of you should be ashamed or feel used. Try to end things on a good note. Thank her for coming over and help her get a ride home.
She may be into a casual hookup, but she’s still a human being. Be kind, be straightforward, have fun and use protection.
Keep these tips in mind, and you'll be on your way to hot, steamy, commitment-free nights. Sometimes, a little string-free sex is just what the doctored ordered. And now you know how to get it - and get off.